The Magic Potion Game: When You Want to Chat with Friends

The Magic Potion Game: When You Want to Chat with Friends

Do you ever hope for a good chat with your friend on a play date, and end up with your child clinging to you like glue, interrupting every two seconds? You’re not alone!

You want some adult company and conversation, but then… uggggh. Your child wants to sit on your lap and play with your hair. Or is suddenly starving and needs food (even though they ate just before you came out). Or they whine that something is wrong. Or they interrupt every time you try to speak. Or maybe they start thumping you. Pretty soon, it’s time to go home. You’ve barely chatted to your friend. You begin to wonder, what’s wrong? Why can’t my child just run off and play?

When Family and Friends Don't understand Your Parenting

When Family and Friends Don't understand Your Parenting

When we choose to parent differently to the norm, we add an extra layer of challenge to our already overfull plates. Without the support and backing of family, friends or professionals, the challenging job of caring for our children gets a whole lot tougher. Parents who choose to parent by connection rather than the mainstream rewards and punishment approach often feel isolated in their views.

Saying Sorry – A 7 Step Plan for Heartfelt Apologies

Saying Sorry – A 7 Step Plan for Heartfelt Apologies

We’ve all felt our hearts soften after someone has apologized to us for a wrongdoing. And we all want our children to grow up being able to give heartfelt apologies. We want them to be kind, caring and compassionate. We want them to have good manners, to fit into society and get along well with others.

But a forced sorry is a far cry from a genuine apology. So what can we do to help our children give apologies that move others whilst leaving them feeling empowered, not humiliated? And how can we do that in a way that navigates social expectations in the present moment? This 7 step plan will show you how. The exact order we do them might vary depending on the situation.

A Powerful Way to Make Sure Your Child Feels Loved – Special Time

A Powerful Way to Make Sure Your Child Feels Loved – Special Time

A stunning 80% of adults feel like their parents didn’t really love them as a kid (1). Of course, we all love our children beyond words. Sometimes that love gets buried under feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion, loneliness, and worry. Yet deep down we want nothing more than our child to feel cherished and good no matter what their struggles are in life. So it’s not lack of love that stops our children feeling appreciated. It’s that we parents have to work hard with little support creating many barriers that can stop our love landing in our children’s hearts.

Helping Children with Sharing

Helping Children with Sharing

One of my favorite pieces of writing on sharing comes from Heather Shumaker in her wonderful book “It’s Okay Not to Share”

She points out how as adults we naturally take turns rather than share on demand. You’d likely feel really cross if your friend grabbed the book you were reading and said “I want it now, you’ve had it a really long time”, you’d expect her to wait until you’d finished.  And this concept of waiting until “you’re all done” works incredibly well for children too. It avoids the pitfalls of sharing that interrupt children’s play and encourages false generosity.

Helping Children with Frustration

Helping Children with Frustration

It’s helpful to recognise how frustration is a natural part of learning. You’ll notice how struggles happen before new skills are learnt or new thinking can occur. A 5 year old will inevitably fall off her bike many times before she learns to ride it and a toddler will put the square shape into the round hole again and again before he figures out where it should go. We need to appreciate the value of struggle as part of the learning experience, as psychologist Dr Lara Markham puts it, “that’s how we develop mastery muscles and the confidence to tackle the next hurdle